Friday, October 03, 2008

I've been so busy at work lately that I literally spent the entire Hari Raya holiday catching up on stuff which I couldn't finish. I go to bed thinking about work and work is the very thing that pulls me out of bed every morning. The funny thing is, I do enjoy my work. I get an indescribable sense of fulfilment when I complete an article and see it in print. I love my job. But lately, it has been, admittedly, the only thing that fills my being.

It's scary because sometimes, I forget when was the last time I really laughed. I forget what it's like to be carefree and happy. I forget how to be youthful.

Something triggered deep within me - that familiar feeling of joy, something which I thought was gone for good, but apparently, was merely buried somewhere inside. And truth be told, I miss it so much. I miss being happy. The last thing I want is to become a grumpy old woman next time.

I know where my happiness lies, but I don't know if it's within reach. There are many things in life that don't make sense. But out of everything we should fight for, I guess happiness should be one of them. What meaning is there in life if we gain everything, but be without that spark, that zest, and that little rhythm to keep the beat going?