Thursday, June 26, 2008

This is as random as it gets

So here I am again, at the airport. This time, I'll be heading to kiwi land...Not that I'm complaining about the very good perks of my job, but I just always get this nagging feeling each time I travel. How should I describe it...Hmmm...It's like how you love sitting at the beach and enjoying the breeze but you hate the ants crawling up your pants. Something like that.

Anyway, the week has been a hectic mess for me. I feel so tired, physically and mentally. I feel like I'm in a roller coaster ride, with no control of how fast I can go or how thrilling I want it to be. I'm like a little speck of dust, going where the wind blows. I've given up asking God why my life is the way it is now, and simply resigned to letting Him lead. It's less tiring this way.

I love my parents. I just felt like saying that. I really do love them. But no matter how much I think I can possibly humanly love them, I know that they will always love me more, even if I behave like a total moron sometimes. I feel loved.

Last week, a friend and I were talking about what to do when we feel spiritually dry. I told him that our faith is like an aeroplane. Some of us know a plane when we see one. Some of us have sat in a plane before. Some of us know how to fly a plane. But unless we make the effort to study the engineering genius behind how a plane works, our knowledge will always be limited. We may know that it needs an engine, a pilot, wings, propeller, etc. But we will never really know how a plane is able to fly. That's the same with God. We may know that God loves us very much, we may know the gospels and maybe we can even recite all the meditations for the rosary. But our understanding is limited. Which is why we have so many questions about Him. We simply don't know the full picture. We don't know the mysteries of God. And if we don't continually learn more and increase our faith, like the analogy of the plane, we will never really understand how it flies.

Ok, gotta go. 1 hour to my flight. 11 hours to Auckland. 6 days before I head home. Till then, stay random.

Posted by Jo at 7:46 PM