Sunday, September 09, 2007
Intimacy
I have a bad habit of making the TV screen my faithful companion for dinner. Tonight, my date was Jim Carrey, who was making a fool of himself as he discovers how difficult it is to be the Big Guy. As I chomped on my curry chicken, Grace (played by Jennifer Aniston) was praying by her bedside, crying, while Bruce Almighty watched on.
I couldn't help but feel a little choked up at that point, largely because the scene was all so personal to me. It transported me to a recent time where I too, was doing the same - pleading to God in prayer, desperately hoping that He was listening. I remembered the dark quiet nights, when I laid in bed, calling out to Him. I remembered being bare, naked and completely stripped of everything that defines Me. I remembered embracing the silence and stillness, being bitter and yet longing for Him, all in the same breath. I remembered crying myself to sleep, because that was the only way I could get some rest.
That was my cross to carry - something not even Simon of Cyrene could have helped with. Incidentally, that was a moment of unadulterated intimacy unlike anything I have ever experienced.
What seemed like a cruel sense of humour on His part turned out to be an affair which took our relationship to a whole new level. Those nights were nothing short of a bad dream. As I looked back, I still see myself, lying in bed, in the darkness. This time round, I see Him lying next to me, in the stillness, embracing me for the person that I am.
Posted by Jo at 10:15 PM
