Sunday, April 02, 2006

Strip me...

This is part 2 of “Safe in a crazy world”.

The countdown continues…It’s nine more days before I leave my workplace. The serenity I feel is comparable to that of a dying man’s last moments. Not that I’m giving up on myself, but I genuinely feel like I am giving it up – To Him.

This Lent has been a significant one. The journey with Christ, filled with repentance and humility, is so appropriate for the season. When Easter morning comes, I too, hope for an experience of a new life.

The “sorting out” which I mentioned in my earlier entry, is that of two ‘E’s…

Expectations
No matter how hard I try, expectations seem inevitable. My parents expect me to be a good daughter. My friends expect me to be there for them. My colleagues expect me to be a team player. The list goes on. Well, I guess the only expectation I ever need to live up to, is that of Christ’s: The expectation to be a good Christian, ever-forgiving, ever-loving. That’s the reason why He came down and died on that cross – To show us that there’s more to life than living up to other’s expectations.

Ego
Over the past months, I feel like I have been raised on a pedestal. It has reached a point when I found it difficult to be weak and susceptible to failure. To declare myself a loser is like telling my ‘haters’ to throw some rotten eggs in my face. I cannot be seen in that bad light. I have to be perfect…Well, that's bullocks. I guess these bad times have made me realised how imperfect I am and how I can easily be reduced to nothing…Like the ashes which marked the insignificance of our worldly lives.

So, seems like my life isn’t so pathetic after all. With all that’s going on in my life, I feel safe as a baby in a crazy world. It is not easy for me to share my story but I’m doing so because I hope my story will inspire you to be a better Christian, and I hope that you can learn from my silly mistakes as well.

To sum it all, here’s a song I wrote called “Strip me”.

You placed me high on a mountain top,
And showed me the world from another view.
I can see it all, it’s so near yet so far,
The crown, the gown and the bling-blings too.

You made me a promise I couldn’t refuse,
And showed me visions of happy ever-afters.
Oh how I loved your suave charming ways,
You raised me up, I couldn’t possibly falter.

But I did,
And all I have to say to you is…

Get behind me,
I don’t need your empty words and your phony sympathies
Your deathly lures have fallen to the ground
Like cold hard rain into the soil.
My self-worth, my overblown ego…
Means nothing more than my lousy doormat.

Strip me, strip me Lord…of my iniquities.

These forty days of fast and prayer
You left me dry, You made me meek
Some call it retribution, some call it justice
A little kryptonite to reveal the weak.

I can finally hear You loud and clear
I can be sure, it’s the right voice this time.
All I have is a crown of taunts but
At least he’s not messing with my mind.

Not anymore…
And all I have to say to him is…

Get behind me,
I don’t need your empty words and your phony sympathies
Your deathly lures have fallen to the ground
Like cold hard rain into the soil.
My self-worth, my overblown ego…
Means nothing more than my lousy doormat.

Strip me, strip me Lord…of my iniquities.

Posted by Jo at 9:44 PM