Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The long and short of it.

Just as the curtains fell on an inspiringly awesome concert, I'm psyching myself up for another - Jason Mraz. 17 March 2006. Esplanade concert hall. 90 friggin bucks. Ever wondered how you could do scat, jazz, rap and pop all at the same time? Well, Jason can surely show you how. The 'rojak-ness' of his melodious tunes, the laidback attitude and scruffy hair, the all-alluring voice. Oh man, I'm being catapulted to euphoria just by the mere thought of seeing him 'live'.

It's 6 days since my job interview. I have, by now, gotten over the disappointment of it all. On hindsight, I believe the job really wasn't meant to be. Just thinking about the traffic jams that will lead to the office were a headache on its own. Plus the late nights and weekends that I'll have to spend at work would mean less time in church and with family and friends. To top it off, I have zero experience in sub-editing or atas food critiquing. I do however, remember how painful the rejection felt. I once did an IQ test which said that I am someone who can do almost anything in life and succeed in it. I don't know how true that is, but I know that this is the career path for me and I was prepared to give it my all if I had landed the job. Uncle Mike was one of the first people I smsed after receiving the news and this is what he said to me..."Oops!? Never mind, He knows better than us. There were times when I had wanted something very much, but was disappointed with the outcome. Then, He gave me something better. So thank Him!" Of course, considering my state of mind then, the last thing I wanted to do was thank Him. In my heart, I know He would eventually give me something better. But meanwhile, having to deal with an unexpected and mundane future really makes me cringe. So for now, it's back to the waiting game for me.

The story about the paralytic who was healed when his four friends brought him to Jesus had always struck a chord in my heart. Although there are so many miraculous healing stories in the gospels, this one's different because it also talks about friendship. Before the youth mass started last Sat, I was seriously pissed off with my brother who refused to help me carry my guitar. (I was already carrying my own bag and my laptop bag.) So as I brought a heart filled with frustration into church, I remember kneeling before God and praying that He will remove this anger from me. Then came this segment during mass where we were supposed to bring someone to the altar and pray for him/her. And when my bro turned around and signalled for me to join him at the altar, my heart kinda melted. *Awww...* Well, to begin with, I totally didn't expect him to think of me. And as the two of us were kneeling before the cross, everything fell into place for me. For that moment, I was put into the shoes of the paralytic, feeling so numb and diseased, brought before Jesus so that He could heal me. And who better to bring me to Him other than my dearest bro. This was my prayer to Jesus – "Lord, help me to love my brother..." I know I do love him but somehow, it's just hidden behind layers of frustration, lack of communication and taken-for-granted notions. I supposed a little brotherly love is a good thing.

What is the similarity between having a bunch of good friends and falling in love? Ans: It makes you glow. Aren't we humans such relationship-desiring creatures? Recently, I got reacquainted with an old friend and I made a new one. Also known as my 'cyber buddies', Gab and Hermie have been lighting up my days with our daily online chats and talks about office crap, church babble and basically everything under the sun. Last Saturday, Hil, Matt, Gab, Hermie, Lyn and myself had an impromptu bbq-cum-board games night at Ben's place. On one hand, I missed spending the Saturday evening with MPM. At the same time, it was such a refreshing change of environment. I guess I shouldn't be saying this, but I don't think I should feel guilty about enjoying the evening. I really did enjoy myself and felt so free - in the sense that I didn't really have to worry about how I behaved or what I said because...truth is, we are all a bunch of young adults.

Change is inevitable, even though we may fight it sometimes.

Posted by Jo at 5:37 PM