Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Eat some humble pie
One weekend. Too many mistakes.
It is such a hard and painful lesson to learn. All the what-ifs and I-should-haves...I hate screwing up so badly. I still think it's great, but why do I feel sick in my guts? It's so unlike me to do that. I've let everyone down. I've let myself down. Failure is a disgusting son of a gun. Admittance suddenly seems like the least of my shitholes. I don't even know how to rectify the problem. What the heck, I don't even know what's the problem!
Here I am, always telling others how to do things, and me, I can't even do it well. Oh man, this is super demoralising. I can so picture people pointing fingers at me, saying "I told you so"..."You're no better than me"..."Are you sure you know what you're doing?"...Go on, take my face and rub it in the mud.
I really thought we had something going on - You and me. I guessed I listened to the wrong voice. Why can't you speak LOUDER? Ggrrhh...I don't quite care anymore. It's Your problem. You better fix it for me.
Posted by Jo at 11:37 AM
